What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself.
The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom.
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.
Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How does the confused dog bark? Wutf? Wutf?
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.
My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting.
How was the dog's day? Ruff.
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge.
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is.
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