Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I'm done with work. Anonymous
Short Quotes Time Quotes Work Quotes
Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet. - Anonymous
Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet. Anonymous
Money Quotes Sayings
Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. - Anonymous
Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. Anonymous
Moments
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Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. - Anonymous
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
It's not boring staying in the house for weeks in a row. But how come one bag of rice has 48,356 gains and the other 47,998? Anonymous
Life Quotes
Husband: I am a grown man, stop mothering me. Also husband: Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet? Where did we park? I don't have clean underwear. Anonymous
Life Quotes Marriage Quotes
You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel! - Anonymous
You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel! Anonymous
Witty Quotes
In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it.
In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it. Anonymous
Money Quotes Sayings
My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer. Anonymous
Computers Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes
I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more. - Anonymous
I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes
Dear mathematicians: Stop asking us to find your x. She has a new boyfriend. Anonymous
Math Quotes Short Quotes
We should start referring to age as "levels." So when you're level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person. Anonymous
Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. - Anonymous
Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to score properly! Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.
To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes

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