Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. - Anonymous
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. Anonymous
Animals Questions Short Quotes
The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck. - Anonymous
The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing. - Anonymous
I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
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Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I'm done with work. Anonymous
Short Quotes Time Quotes Work Quotes
Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet. - Anonymous
Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet. Anonymous
Money Quotes Sayings
Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. - Anonymous
Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. Anonymous
Moments
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. - Anonymous
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
It's not boring staying in the house for weeks in a row. But how come one bag of rice has 48,356 gains and the other 47,998? Anonymous
Life Quotes
Husband: I am a grown man, stop mothering me. Also husband: Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet? Where did we park? I don't have clean underwear. Anonymous
Life Quotes Marriage Quotes
You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel! - Anonymous
You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel! Anonymous
Witty Quotes
My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer. Anonymous
Computers Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes
I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more. - Anonymous
I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes
Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out? Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Dear mathematicians: Stop asking us to find your x. She has a new boyfriend. Anonymous
Math Quotes Short Quotes

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