I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.
More Quotes by Anonymous
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too.
Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house.
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it.
I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays.
I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now.
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here.
Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity, mom.
I'll call it a smartphone when I yell "Where's my phone?" and it yells back "Down here in the couch cushions!"
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