Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. - Anonymous
My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection!
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection! Anonymous
Marriage Quotes
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. - Anonymous
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
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I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. - Anonymous
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you. - Anonymous
I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you. Anonymous
Animals Know Quotes Love Quotes
If you can't remember my name, just say "Chocolate" and I'll turn around. - Anonymous
If you can't remember my name, just say "Chocolate" and I'll turn around. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. - Anonymous
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. Anonymous
Life Quotes
After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF ! - Anonymous
After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF ! Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Work Quotes
I love you forever... but I can't live that long.
I love you forever... but I can't live that long. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? The flag is a big plus. - Anonymous
What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? The flag is a big plus. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
No matter how bad it gets I'm always rich when I go to the dollar store. - Anonymous
No matter how bad it gets I'm always rich when I go to the dollar store. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. - Anonymous
Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. - Anonymous
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. - Anonymous
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Math Quotes Sayings
I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. - Anonymous
I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. Anonymous
Drinking Statements

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