Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. - Anonymous
Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes Top 100
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. - Anonymous
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
We are going to be best friends forever... besides you already know too much. - Anonymous
We are going to be best friends forever... besides you already know too much. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Know Quotes Short Quotes
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Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. - Anonymous
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes Top 100
If you can't remember my name, just say "Chocolate" and I'll turn around. - Anonymous
If you can't remember my name, just say "Chocolate" and I'll turn around. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast. - Anonymous
Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast. Anonymous
Short Quotes
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" Anonymous
Animals Top 100
Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house. - Anonymous
Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house. Anonymous
Love Quotes
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. - Anonymous
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. Anonymous
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. - Anonymous
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. - Anonymous
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. Anonymous
Life Quotes Top 100
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. - Anonymous
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. Anonymous
Sayings
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. - Anonymous
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. Anonymous
Love Quotes Sayings Top 100

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