Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. - Anonymous
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Sleep Quotes
Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt. - Anonymous
Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%. - Anonymous
Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
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Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. - Anonymous
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. - Anonymous
If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Love Quotes Top 100
Why can't the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself. Anonymous
Short Quotes
They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it.
They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it for themselves. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Money Quotes
My best friends are like fairy tales, they've been there since once upon a time and will be there until forever after. - Anonymous
My best friends are like fairy tales, they've been there since once upon a time and will be there until forever after. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Top 100
I wish my wallet came with free refills. - Anonymous
I wish my wallet came with free refills. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. - Anonymous
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it's too late for them to back out. - Anonymous
The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it's too late for them to back out. Anonymous
People Quotes
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. Anonymous
Math Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. - Anonymous
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
I'm not sure how long my body can handle this "getting out of bed early in the morning" nonsense. - Anonymous
I'm not sure how long my body can handle this "getting out of bed early in the morning" nonsense. Anonymous
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