George Carlin Quote

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Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice' ? - George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice' ?

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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck

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God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. Benjamin Franklin

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I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman

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The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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"Don't worry you'll live." What are you a doctor or something? - Anonymous

"Don't worry you'll live." What are you a doctor or something? Anonymous

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Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein

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When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Albert Einstein

Famous Quotes Top 100

I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

Pablo Picasso

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You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

You're born free, then you're taxed to death. Anonymous

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The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

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The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. - Albert Einstein

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. Albert Einstein

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You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. Dave Barry

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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

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Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry

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Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. - Albert Einstein

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. Albert Einstein

What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! - Anonymous

What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! Anonymous

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Prescribed laughter

My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. -Albert Einstein

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Albert Einstein

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If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut. - Albert Einstein

If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut. Albert Einstein

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