George Carlin Quote

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

"Don't worry you'll live." What are you a doctor or something?

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?