George Carlin Quote
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Albert Einstein
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. Albert Einstein
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. Dave Barry
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry
Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. Albert Einstein
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! Anonymous
My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Albert Einstein