Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there's the ring, and then you wake up.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? Anonymous
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. Joey Adams
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. Benjamin Franklin
The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.' Anonymous