Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with. Anonymous

Sayings

Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot." Anonymous

Animals

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

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What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

All my bills say "Outstanding." I guess I am good to go. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

Start each day with a positive thought, like: "I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours." Anonymous

Life Quotes

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu. One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment. Anonymous

Questions

I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem. Anonymous

Drinking Short Quotes

A toy that can't be broken can be used to break other toys. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner. Anonymous

Love Quotes Marriage Quotes Top 100

It's a good thing I brought my library card because I'm totally checking you out. Anonymous

Good Quotes Love Quotes

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. Anonymous

Short Quotes Time Quotes Work Quotes

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes

I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?' Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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