Each year in the USA, 16 people are attacked by sharks and 6000 by goats . We don't need shark week, we need goat week.
When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV.
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV.
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!"
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too.
Me watching Olympics: Woah! That was outstanding! Announcer: Another devastating mistake.
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