Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's like 7 years in a row now. Anonymous
Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. - Anonymous
Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. Anonymous
Sayings
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?!
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?! Anonymous
People Quotes Think Quotes Top 100
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My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. - Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" - Anonymous
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" Anonymous
Questions
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. - Anonymous
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. Anonymous
Sayings
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit. - Anonymous
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit. Anonymous
Animals Know Quotes
You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar. - Anonymous
You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions. - Anonymous
Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions. Anonymous
Drinking Short Quotes
I'm not sure how long my body can handle this "getting out of bed early in the morning" nonsense. - Anonymous
I'm not sure how long my body can handle this "getting out of bed early in the morning" nonsense. Anonymous
Work Quotes
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. - Anonymous
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. - Anonymous
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. - Anonymous
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
Me sarcastic? Never. - Anonymous
Me sarcastic? Never. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes

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