Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

One day my wife's credit card got stolen.
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife! Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Money Quotes Wife Quotes
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten. - Anonymous
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten. Anonymous
Life Quotes Time Quotes Top 100
Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. - Anonymous
Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Sponsored Links
Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix. - Anonymous
Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix. Anonymous
Short Quotes TV Quotes
I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me. Anonymous
Facebook
I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face, but with words. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Witty Quotes
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. - Anonymous
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. Anonymous
This too shall pass... It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. - Anonymous
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too. - Anonymous
I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes. - Anonymous
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training? Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. - Anonymous
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. Anonymous
Sayings
If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. - Anonymous
If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. Anonymous
Sayings
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? - Anonymous
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? Anonymous
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