Me sarcastic? Never.
More Quotes by Anonymous
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
Steven Alexander Wright
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?
When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth.
Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.
Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill.
If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible?
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up?
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you.
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me?
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
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