Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. - Anonymous
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
Never test how deep the water is with both feet. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Anonymous
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? Anonymous
Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes
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Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation. - Anonymous
Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. - Anonymous
When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. Anonymous
Good Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes
Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV. Anonymous
Short Quotes TV Quotes
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. - Anonymous
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow. - Anonymous
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow. Anonymous
Work Quotes
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. - Anonymous
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. - Anonymous
A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes Top 100
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. - Anonymous
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out? Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth! Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners.
Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners. Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

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