Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. - Anonymous
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous
Animals Phone Stupid Quotes
Work again? Really? Didn't I just do that yesterday? - Anonymous
Work again? Really? Didn't I just do that yesterday? Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
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When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. - Anonymous
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Statements Work Quotes
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. - Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let's be positive here. Anonymous
Asleep first
Those who snore always fall asleep first. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. - Anonymous
My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. Anonymous
Do you ever feel like your body's "check engine" light is on but you're like "nah, I'll be fine"? Anonymous
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings
In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back. - Anonymous
In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back. Anonymous
Animals
When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work. - Anonymous
When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Life is too short to worry about matching socks. - Anonymous
Life is too short to worry about matching socks. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. - Anonymous
Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. Anonymous
Love Quotes

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