The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
More Quotes by Erma Bombeck
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket.
I might wake up early and do some exercise, or I might win the lotto, the odds are the same.
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge.
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me.
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.
Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.
It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size.
Shopping is the only exercise I need.
When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.
Me: I am so glad I saved all this money. Me again: It's time to spend it, you know you want to.
Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate.
Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
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