Erma Bombeck Quote

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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Woody Allen
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.

Anonymous

Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.

Anonymous
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'

I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'

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It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane. - June Henderson

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

June Henderson
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. - Anonymous

Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket.

Anonymous
I might wake up early and do some exercise, or I might win the lotto, the odds are the same. - Anonymous

I might wake up early and do some exercise, or I might win the lotto, the odds are the same.

Anonymous
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge. - Anonymous

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge.

Anonymous
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. - Anonymous

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me.

Anonymous
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. - Anonymous

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Anonymous
Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it. - Sophie Kinsella

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Sophie Kinsella
It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size. - Anonymous

It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size.

Anonymous
Shopping is the only exercise I need. - Anonymous

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Anonymous
When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes. - Anonymous

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Anonymous
Me: I am so glad I saved all this money. Me again: It's time to spend it, you know you want to. - Anonymous

Me: I am so glad I saved all this money. Me again: It's time to spend it, you know you want to.

Anonymous
Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.

Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.

Anonymous
Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate. - Anonymous

Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate.

Anonymous
Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food. - Anonymous

Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.

Anonymous
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane. - June Henderson

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

June Henderson
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. - Anonymous

Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket.

Anonymous
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'

I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'

Anonymous

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