People say "go big or go home" like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah I want to go home, and I'll have a nap when I get there.
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep.
I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
A joke is a very serious thing.
If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.
Edward A. Murphy (Murphy's Law)
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
We have to do the impossible, but it is possible.
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.
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