I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late. Anonymous
I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through the entire house. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. Anonymous
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. Joey Adams
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. Benjamin Franklin
The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.' Anonymous
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman
Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse, I might let him inside the house. Anonymous
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. Anonymous
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does. Anonymous
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right! Anonymous
My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer. CoolFunnyQuotes.com