As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy. Anonymous
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. Anonymous
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like "I've got nothing man." Anonymous
If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong. Anonymous
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. Anonymous