As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy. Anonymous
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. Anonymous
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like "I've got nothing man." Anonymous
If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong. Anonymous
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. Anonymous
You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong. Anonymous
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right! Anonymous
One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, that way if something goes wrong I have somebody to blame other than myself. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. Steven Alexander Wright
I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. Charles M. Schulz
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Anonymous