I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
More Quotes by George Burns
Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
Age only matters if you are a cheese.
I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before.
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.
You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink.
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.
The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.
My four moods: I'm too old for doing that. I'm too tired for doing that. I'm too sober for doing that. I don't have time for doing that.
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
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