Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If you were wondering about my culinary skills... I've been asked to bring paper towels to our family gatherings. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
You know you're really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Yawning is the body's way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining. Anonymous
Short Quotes
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I changed my alarm clock sound with an applause, it's the least I deserve for waking up at 7am. Anonymous
Work Quotes
I'll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
I'm trying to be awesome today, but I'm too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
When I get to work, I always hide first... because a good worker is always hard to find. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Chocolate is the best investment, you buy a 7oz bar and you gain 2lbs. Anonymous
Short Quotes
My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
My kid asked me why a corn field is not full of popcorn after a lightning strike. I don't know either. Anonymous
A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I'm not overweight, I'm on the wrong planet. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I often wonder who Pete is, and why we do things for his sake. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
There's a fine line between saying too much and saying too little. I walk that line like a drunk down at the circus. - Anonymous
There's a fine line between saying too much and saying too little. I walk that line like a drunk down at the circus. Anonymous
My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it's Sunday! Anonymous
Short Quotes
Unfortunately code brown doesn't mean someone brought chocolate. Anonymous
Short Quotes

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