Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm not lazy, I'm on power saving mode. - Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I'm on power saving mode. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Cheer myself up.
I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems. Anonymous
Moments Time Quotes Top 100
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
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I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too. - Anonymous
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too. Anonymous
People Quotes
I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. - Anonymous
I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight. - Anonymous
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. - Anonymous
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Sleep Quotes
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Eat Quotes
Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face. - Anonymous
Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Life Quotes
No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once. - Anonymous
No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link. - Anonymous
There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link. Anonymous
Facebook Internet Life Quotes
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. - Anonymous
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners.
Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners. Anonymous
If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. - Anonymous
If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Love Quotes Top 100

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