Anonymous Funny Quotes
A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
Auto-correct is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.
Anonymous
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You come from dust and you'll return to dust, so that's why I never dust. It could be someone I know.
Anonymous
How was the word "Wife" invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.
Anonymous
True love isn't about what's on the outside, it's about what's on the inside.... the wallet.
Anonymous
My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can't fall asleep.
Anonymous
Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now we have to sit here until the store closes.
Anonymous
When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog, like I'm a blackjack dealer...
Anonymous
When I take a shower I'm: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.
Anonymous
Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.
Anonymous














