Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Happiness is eating an entire pizza in front of a friend who's on a diet. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Happy Quotes Short Quotes
Auto-correct is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things. Anonymous
Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
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You come from dust and you'll return to dust, so that's why I never dust. It could be someone I know. Anonymous
I hate math... but I love counting money. Anonymous
Math Quotes Money Quotes Short Quotes
How was the word "Wife" invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife. - Anonymous
How was the word "Wife" invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife. Anonymous
Questions Wife Quotes
True love isn't about what's on the outside, it's about what's on the inside.... the wallet. Anonymous
Love Quotes Money Quotes
My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can't fall asleep. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now we have to sit here until the store closes. Anonymous
When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog, like I'm a blackjack dealer... Anonymous
Animals
When I take a shower I'm: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me. - Anonymous
Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me. Anonymous
Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds. Anonymous
Work Quotes
When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on T.V. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes TV Quotes

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