Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I know how to live my life to the fullest.. but let's speak later after I finish playing some computer games. Anonymous

Computers Life Quotes

Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. Anonymous

Moments

Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous

Know Quotes Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes

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Husband: I am a grown man, stop mothering me. Also husband: Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet? Where did we park? I don't have clean underwear. Anonymous

Life Quotes Marriage Quotes

Do you ever feel like your body's "check engine" light is on but you're like "nah, I'll be fine"? Anonymous

You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel! Anonymous

Witty Quotes

What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine. Anonymous

Moments Money Quotes

One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, that way if something goes wrong I have somebody to blame other than myself. Anonymous

Life Quotes

My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer. Anonymous

Computers Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more. Anonymous

Short Quotes Think Quotes

Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you. Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

Dear mathematicians: Stop asking us to find your x. She has a new boyfriend. Anonymous

Math Quotes Short Quotes

We should start referring to age as "levels." So when you're level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person. Anonymous

Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to score properly! Anonymous

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