Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Going in a teen's room is like going to Ikea. You pop in to take a look and come out with 4 bowls, 6 cups, a set of plates, and some cutlery. Anonymous
The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck. - Anonymous
The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing. - Anonymous
I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
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On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic. - Anonymous
On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes
I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape. - Anonymous
I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
I feel the best when I am happy.
I feel the best when I am happy. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Every time I have my picture taken I get hungry because I hear 'cheese' so I start to think of a nice cheese sandwich. - Anonymous
Every time I have my picture taken I get hungry because I hear 'cheese' so I start to think of a nice cheese sandwich. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Think Quotes Time Quotes
Don't invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed. - Anonymous
Don't invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed. Anonymous
Sayings
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. - Anonymous
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. Anonymous
Animals Questions Short Quotes
Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I'm done with work. Anonymous
Short Quotes Time Quotes Work Quotes
Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet. - Anonymous
Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet. Anonymous
Money Quotes Sayings
Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. - Anonymous
Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. Anonymous
Moments
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. - Anonymous
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
It's not boring staying in the house for weeks in a row. But how come one bag of rice has 48,356 gains and the other 47,998? Anonymous
Life Quotes
Husband: I am a grown man, stop mothering me. Also husband: Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet? Where did we park? I don't have clean underwear. Anonymous
Life Quotes Marriage Quotes

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