Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Cavities are like parking tickets, they show up by surprise and take all your pocket money. - Anonymous
Cavities are like parking tickets, they show up by surprise and take all your pocket money. Anonymous
Analogies Money Quotes
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. - Anonymous
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?' Anonymous
Animals Eat Quotes
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I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. - Anonymous
I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. Anonymous
Sayings Witty Quotes Work Quotes
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn? - Anonymous
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with. Anonymous
Sayings
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu. One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment. Anonymous
Questions
When there's a will, I want to be in it. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Statements
A day without coffee is like something without something.
A day without coffee is like something without something. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. - Anonymous
Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem.
I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem. Anonymous
Drinking Short Quotes
Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say Help, I've been turned into a parrot.
Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot." Anonymous
Animals
Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. - Anonymous
Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. Anonymous
Short Quotes Time Quotes Work Quotes
Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
All my bills say "Outstanding." I guess I am good to go. - Anonymous
All my bills say "Outstanding." I guess I am good to go. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes

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