Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you're talking and not hear a single word you said. Anonymous

I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members. Anonymous

Moments Money Quotes

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I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg. Anonymous

Short Quotes Statements

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' Anonymous

Man Quotes Questions

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
Anonymous

Money Quotes Stupid Quotes Work Quotes

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It's like the other vegetables aren't even trying. Anonymous

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won't let me. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest. Anonymous

Life Quotes

Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas. Anonymous

Drinking Life Quotes

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?' Anonymous

Animals Eat Quotes

I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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