They say money doesn't solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.
Due to current economic conditions the light
at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it.
I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through the entire house.
I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems.
Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members.
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.
It doesn't matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!
Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet.
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