Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" Anonymous
Animals Top 100
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity, mom. - Anonymous
Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity, mom. Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions Short Quotes
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. - Anonymous
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. Anonymous
Life Quotes
The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do the dishes. - Anonymous
The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do the dishes. Anonymous
Short Quotes
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Anonymous
Short Quotes TV Quotes Work Quotes
Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it's time to fall asleep. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! - Anonymous
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! Anonymous
Know Quotes Moments Top 100
It's not boring staying in the house for weeks in a row. But how come one bag of rice has 48,356 gains and the other 47,998? Anonymous
Life Quotes
Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. - Anonymous
Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." - Anonymous
You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia. Anonymous
Drinking Questions Stupid Quotes
I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find." Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. - Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Anonymous
Know Quotes People Quotes Stupid Quotes

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