Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. - Anonymous
My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. Anonymous
It's alright if you don't agree with me... I can't force you to be right. - Anonymous
It's alright if you don't agree with me... I can't force you to be right. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. - Anonymous
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Wise Quotes
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He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.
He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
Do you ever feel like your body's "check engine" light is on but you're like "nah, I'll be fine"? Anonymous
Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. - Anonymous
Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. Anonymous
Love Quotes
Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let's be positive here. Anonymous
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. - Anonymous
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right! Anonymous
Computers Marriage Quotes Never Quotes
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. - Anonymous
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Think Quotes
Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you. - Anonymous
Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Top 100
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery. - Anonymous
Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to run in and grab a 36-pack of toilet paper as soon as the store opens. This message will auto-flush in 5 seconds. Anonymous
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. - Anonymous
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100

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