Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

You know you're really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. - Anonymous
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Them: Money doesn't bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad. Anonymous
Money Quotes
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Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! - Anonymous
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. - Anonymous
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. Anonymous
Phone Sayings Top 100
Whoever said "Out of sight, out of mind" never had a spider disappear in their bedroom. - Anonymous
Whoever said "Out of sight, out of mind" never had a spider disappear in their bedroom. Anonymous
Sayings
If one door closes and another door opens... your house is probably haunted. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I keep pressing the space bar, but I'm still on Earth. - Anonymous
I keep pressing the space bar, but I'm still on Earth. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
I don't have bad handwriting, I'm just using my own font. - Anonymous
I don't have bad handwriting, I'm just using my own font. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Multiply it by 9 and subtract 1. Now close your eyes. It's dark isn't it? - Anonymous
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Multiply it by 9 and subtract 1. Now close your eyes. It's dark isn't it? Anonymous
Math Quotes Think Quotes
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet. - Anonymous
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet. Anonymous
Internet Top 100 Witty Quotes
I don't always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don't know exactly what they do. - Anonymous
I don't always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don't know exactly what they do. Anonymous
Math Quotes Top 100
If only common sense were more common. - Anonymous
If only common sense were more common. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I love all mythical creatures... vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen. Anonymous
Love Quotes
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. Anonymous

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