Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If every day is a gift, then today I got socks. - Anonymous
If every day is a gift, then today I got socks. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Next time I lose my mind I swear I'm not even going to look for it any more. - Anonymous
Next time I lose my mind I swear I'm not even going to look for it any more. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic. Anonymous
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Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. - Anonymous
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Questions Short Quotes
I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. - Anonymous
I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. Anonymous
Money Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.
My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. Anonymous
Phone Stupid Quotes Work Quotes
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. - Anonymous
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Anonymous
Analogies Drinking Wife Quotes
Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year.
Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year. Anonymous
Life Quotes Top 100
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. - Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. - Anonymous
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%. - Anonymous
Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow. - Anonymous
I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." - Anonymous
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. - Anonymous
Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. Anonymous
Facebook Love Quotes People Quotes
Life is always rocky when you're a gem. - Anonymous
Life is always rocky when you're a gem. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

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