I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me.
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe.
The only relationship I have is with my Wi-Fi. We have a connection.
When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich.
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
I love making friends. I usually prefer to make them out of plaster and give them funny looking hats.
When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating.
If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.
I love my job only when I'm on vacation.
Give me your photo so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.
My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer.
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.
For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.
We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.
I love you forever... but I can't live that long.
Our love is like a train with no brakes, unstoppable.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this sidewalk is icy!"
