Husband: I am a grown man, stop mothering me. Also husband: Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet? Where did we park? I don't have clean underwear.
Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse, I might let him inside the house. Anonymous
My darling, this scenery makes me speechless. Husband: Perfect, we're setting up tent here. Anonymous
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. Charles M. Schulz
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. Joey Adams
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Anonymous
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. Erma Bombeck
Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat. Anonymous
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx
That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another.... Charles M. Schulz
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.