Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

We should start referring to age as "levels." So when you're level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person. Anonymous

Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. Anonymous

Marriage Quotes Short Quotes

There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Moments Sayings

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Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to score properly! Anonymous

Stupid Quotes

To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you're hungry, and want to stay that way. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

I might get a job cleaning mirrors. It's definitely a job I can see myself doing. Anonymous

Work Quotes

Luckiness top moment: To get run over by an ambulance. Anonymous

Moments Short Quotes

For this New Year's day, weather forecasters are warning of an incoming storm of hugs and kisses all over the planet... we advise closing your umbrella and opening your heart. Anonymous

Love Quotes Moments

Whether you give a crap or don't give a crap, nobody wants crap anyway! Anonymous

Short Quotes Witty Quotes

My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science. Anonymous

Work Quotes

I end all my sentences with "Just saying.." because ending them with "You bonehead.." would probably be considered offensive. Anonymous

People Quotes

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch. Anonymous

Life Quotes

It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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