Latest Funny Quotes
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Latest Funny Quotes Page 3
Latest quotes in the order they were added.
Back in my day there was so much toilet paper available that people used to string it up in trees to annoy people.
Anonymous
If you were wondering about my culinary skills... I've been asked to bring paper towels to our family gatherings.
Anonymous
It's not boring staying in the house for weeks in a row. But how come one bag of rice has 48,356 gains and the other 47,998?
Anonymous
Husband: I am a grown man, stop mothering me. Also husband: Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet? Where did we park? I don't have clean underwear.
Anonymous
Honestly, I don't even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I'm like "I guess this is what we're doing now."
Anonymous
Here's human empathy for you: Things die all over our windshields and we're like, "Man, I just washed this!"
Anonymous
I just spent half an hour looking for my phone in the car, using the flashlight on my phone.
Anonymous
Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.
Anonymous
My darling, this scenery makes me speechless. Husband: Perfect, we're setting up tent here.
Anonymous