Latest Funny Quotes

That awkward moment when you've said "What?" three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah.." even though you have no idea what they said.

Anonymous

I'm not being smart, I'm just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Anonymous

Me sarcastic? Never.

Anonymous

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night.

Anonymous

Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm.

Anonymous

Some friends are like the wind, some are like mountains. They come in and breeze out of your life, or they are there for a lifetime.

Anonymous

You know what's funny? Lots of things, so lighten up!

Anonymous

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life.... hibernation.

Anonymous

I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Anonymous

Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe.

Anonymous

Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Anonymous

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out?

Anonymous

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller?

Anonymous

I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Anonymous

Just because it's a bad idea doesn't mean it won't be a good time.

Anonymous

Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid."

Anonymous