Latest Funny Quotes

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won't kill it, I'd buy another house. Anonymous

Money Quotes

I changed my alarm clock sound with an applause, it's the least I deserve for waking up at 7am. Anonymous

Work Quotes

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive? Anonymous

Short Quotes

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me. Anonymous

I'll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Mary Bly

Animals Cat Quotes Dog Quotes

Meow means woof in cat. George Carlin

Cat Quotes Short Quotes

I'm a leader not a follower. Unless it's a dark place, then you're going first. Anonymous

Short Quotes

When I say I miss school, I mean my friends and fun. Not the school. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes

Happiness is eating an entire pizza in front of a friend who's on a diet. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Happy Quotes Short Quotes

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind! Anonymous

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad! Anonymous

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can't eat anything when I'm asleep! Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Sleep Quotes

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It's called being hungry. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

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