Latest Funny Quotes

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Anonymous

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!

Anonymous

Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.

Anonymous

God please give me patients, good will and one million dollars. If that's too much then you can keep the patients and good will.

Anonymous

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can't beat surfing the net.

Anonymous

Yesterday I really wanted tacos, and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Anonymous

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.

Anonymous

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Anonymous

I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep.

Anonymous

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year.

Anonymous

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities...

Anonymous

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.

Anonymous

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Anonymous

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.

Anonymous

Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Anonymous

I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is.

Anonymous