Latest Funny Quotes

just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Anonymous

If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee.

Anonymous

I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape.

Anonymous

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.

Anonymous

I'm not feeling very worky today.

Anonymous

I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Anonymous

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Anonymous

I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit.

Anonymous

How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice?

Anonymous

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Anonymous

Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads.

Anonymous

Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it's good just knowing they're there.

Anonymous

I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Anonymous

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Anonymous

I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Anonymous

Did a cartwheel the other day, thinking it was like riding a bike. It's not.

Anonymous