Latest quotes in the order they were added.
I'm tired of adding 'LOL' to the end of my texts for sensitive people. I said what I said, deal with it.
Going in a teen's room is like going to Ikea. You pop in to take a look and come out with 4 bowls, 6 cups, a set of plates, and some cutlery.
Each year in the USA, 16 people are attacked by sharks and 6000 by goats . We don't need shark week, we need goat week.
Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.
I can't finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.
Whoever said "Out of sight, out of mind" never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.
This too shall pass... It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It's like the other vegetables aren't even trying.
I love all mythical creatures... vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.
I don't want to adult today, I just want to dog. I'll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.
I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won't let me.
I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.
When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That's why we call it the "present."
If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?
If one door closes and another door opens... your house is probably haunted.
My four moods: I'm too old for doing that. I'm too tired for doing that. I'm too sober for doing that. I don't have time for doing that.
Listen, before I had my coffee I didn't know how awesome I was going to be today either.
