Latest Funny Quotes

I'll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Meow means woof in cat.

I'm a leader not a follower. Unless it's a dark place, then you're going first.

When I say I miss school, I mean my friends and fun. Not the school.

Happiness is eating an entire pizza in front of a friend who's on a diet.

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind!

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can't eat anything when I'm asleep!

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.

From now I'm going on a strict diet.... Oh look, burger and fries!

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It's called being hungry.

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Did you know "DIET" stands for "Did I Eat That?"

Apparently when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!