Latest quotes in the order they were added.
My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.
Dear phone, if you didn't light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn't have died so quickly!
I don't have bad handwriting, I'm just using my own font.
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Multiply it by 9 and subtract 1. Now close your eyes. It's dark isn't it?
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic.
I keep pressing the space bar, but I'm still on Earth.
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon.
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever.
You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example.
Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt.
Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate.
When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday.
Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You're glitter glue.
Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut.
It's all fun and games until your jeans don't fit any more.
Lazy Rule: Can't reach it, don't need it.
Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back.
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.
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