Latest Funny Quotes

From now I'm going on a strict diet.... Oh look, burger and fries! Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes

Did you know "DIET" stands for "Did I Eat That?" Anonymous

Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes

Apparently when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended! Anonymous

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it. Anonymous

The reward for doing really good work is more work. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds. Anonymous

Work Quotes

I told my boss three companies were looking after me and I needed a raise. He asked who they were, so told him the gas, electric and cable company. Anonymous

Work Quotes

I'm trying to be awesome today, but I'm too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday. Anonymous

Witty Quotes

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can't fall asleep. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it's time to fall asleep. Anonymous

Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like "just kidding." Anonymous

Moments Sleep Quotes

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it's a shame they'll never meet. Anonymous

Math Quotes Short Quotes

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking Short Quotes

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I'm single because I'm a superhero. Anonymous

Witty Quotes

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