Latest Funny Quotes
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Latest Funny Quotes Page 4
Latest quotes in the order they were added.
By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.
Anonymous
We should start referring to age as "levels." So when you're level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.
Anonymous
I'm not sure what is more scary these days, checking my temperature or checking my weight.
Anonymous
I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find."
Anonymous
We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.
Anonymous
Now that I'm quarantined, I finally realize that my only true hobbies were shopping and eating out.
Anonymous
When the teacher said "Don't forget to bring clothes for Gym," I thought "Who is Jim and why doesn't he bring his own clothes?"
Anonymous
That moment you're thankful for Coronavirus social distancing rules because you just ate some garlic.
Anonymous
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
Anonymous
I end all my sentences with "Just saying.." because ending them with "You bonehead.." would probably be considered offensive.
Anonymous