Latest Funny Quotes

Home / Latest Funny Quotes Page 4

Latest quotes in the order they were added.

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

When the teacher said "Don't forget to bring clothes for Gym," I thought "Who is Jim and why doesn't he bring his own clothes?" Anonymous

Exercise Quotes

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse... except for money. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

The only exercise I've done this month is running... out of money! Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Money Quotes Short Quotes

They say money doesn't solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine. Anonymous

That moment you're thankful for Coronavirus social distancing rules because you just ate some garlic. Anonymous

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. Anonymous

I end all my sentences with "Just saying.." because ending them with "You bonehead.." would probably be considered offensive. Anonymous

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I'm done with work. Anonymous

Short Quotes Time Quotes Work Quotes

I survived the great toilet paper scare of 2020. Anonymous

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead. - Bill McGlashen

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Bill McGlashen

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid. Anonymous

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit. Anonymous

Ever looked at your ex and wondered... was I drunk the entire relationship? Anonymous

Love Quotes Questions Short Quotes

Where do I see myself in a year? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision. Anonymous

How to do sit-ups: Lay down, hands behind your head. Wow, this is a good position for a nap. Maybe I'll just take a nap. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I'll shop. - Anonymous

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I'll shop. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn't ready. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. - Erma Bombeck

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. Erma Bombeck

Short Quotes Work Quotes

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes

I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's like 7 years in a row now. Anonymous

Target cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for? Me: First of all, I wasn't looking for ANY of this. Anonymous

Less is more, unless it's kindness, sleep, or toilet paper. Anonymous

I'm dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me. Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
Next Page »