Latest Funny Quotes

I changed my alarm clock sound with an applause, it's the least I deserve for waking up at 7am. Anonymous

Work Quotes

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive? Anonymous

Short Quotes

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me. Anonymous

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I'll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Mary Bly

Animals Cat Quotes Dog Quotes

Meow means woof in cat. George Carlin

Cat Quotes Short Quotes

I'm a leader not a follower. Unless it's a dark place, then you're going first. Anonymous

Short Quotes

When I say I miss school, I mean my friends and fun. Not the school. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes

Happiness is eating an entire pizza in front of a friend who's on a diet. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Happy Quotes Short Quotes

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind! Anonymous

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad! Anonymous

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can't eat anything when I'm asleep! Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Sleep Quotes

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It's called being hungry. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

From now I'm going on a strict diet.... Oh look, burger and fries! Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

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