Good Quotes

I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Anonymous

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Anonymous

Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!

Anonymous

I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep.

Anonymous

A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with, always provides support, holds you tight and is always close to your heart.

Anonymous

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street.

Anonymous

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Anonymous

To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top.

Anonymous

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done.

Anonymous

Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!

Anonymous

"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ?

Anonymous

It's a good thing I brought my library card because I'm totally checking you out.

Anonymous

Life is a pretty cheezy game, but at least it has good graphics.

Anonymous

Love is like playing bridge, if you don't have a good partner, it's good to at least have a good hand.

Anonymous