Latest Funny Quotes

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with. Anonymous

Sayings

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let's be positive here. Anonymous

I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven't pooped it out yet. I'm really scared, you guys. Anonymous

Sayings

I think I may need professional help... A chef, a butler and a maid should be enough. Anonymous

Sayings Think Quotes

Nutrition labels should include an "What if I ate the whole thing" section. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training? Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you. Anonymous

Sayings

If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes. Anonymous

Sayings

What's your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills. Anonymous

Money Quotes Questions Short Quotes

The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do the dishes. Anonymous

Short Quotes

All my bills say "Outstanding." I guess I am good to go. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it's a potato with fur. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Me: I am so glad I saved all this money. Me again: It's time to spend it, you know you want to. Anonymous

Money Quotes

• 17
• 18
• 19
• 20
• 21
• 22
• 23
• 24
• 25
• Next Page »