Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. Anonymous
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work. Anonymous
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. Anonymous
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. George Burns
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henny Youngman
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge. Anonymous