Me watching Olympics: Woah! That was outstanding! Announcer: Another devastating mistake.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV.
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote!
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.
Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym.
Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day.
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough.
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.
Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day.
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