Do you ever feel like your body's "check engine" light is on but you're like "nah, I'll be fine"?
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy.
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute!
Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day.
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.
I'm not sure how long my body can handle this "getting out of bed early in the morning" nonsense.
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.
The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day.
I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.
Nutrition labels should include an "What if I ate the whole thing" section.
One day you're 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you're 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.
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