Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Back in my day there was so much toilet paper available that people used to string it up in trees to annoy people. Anonymous
Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year's? Now we're old and cursing because we're staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
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It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size. - Anonymous
It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size. Anonymous
There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. - Anonymous
There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
I don't know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours. Anonymous
Love Quotes
I'm so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them... They're just looking for their brain. Anonymous
A man's home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary. Anonymous
Man Quotes Short Quotes
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Eat Quotes
I'm so tired of saying "Oh darn, forgot to put on my mask." Like I'm Batman or something. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I think my soulmate might be carbs. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I'm as single as a one dollar bill, and I don't need any change. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find." Anonymous

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