Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement. Anonymous
Statements Think Quotes
Hardest thing ever: Controlling your laughter at serious times. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Target cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for? Me: First of all, I wasn't looking for ANY of this. Anonymous
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My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. - Anonymous
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. Anonymous
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before. - Anonymous
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country. - Anonymous
The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country. Anonymous
Statements
I'm so lazy that I get jealous when it's bedtime in other countries. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year's? Now we're old and cursing because we're staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size. - Anonymous
It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size. Anonymous
I don't know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours. Anonymous
Love Quotes
Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them... They're just looking for their brain. Anonymous
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Eat Quotes
I'm so tired of saying "Oh darn, forgot to put on my mask." Like I'm Batman or something. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I think my soulmate might be carbs. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes

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