Anonymous Funny Quotes
A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
Target cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for? Me: First of all, I wasn't looking for ANY of this.
Anonymous
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My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter.
Anonymous
The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country.
Anonymous
Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year's? Now we're old and cursing because we're staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.
Anonymous
Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them... They're just looking for their brain.
Anonymous
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.
Anonymous