Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping. Anonymous
Short Quotes
It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. - Anonymous
It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss. - Anonymous
I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
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If I'm constantly bothering you, it means you're an important person. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I don't need a fancy watch to tell me I'm not fit one bit. - Anonymous
I don't need a fancy watch to tell me I'm not fit one bit. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes
Don't blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August. - Anonymous
Don't blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. - Anonymous
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. Anonymous
Work Quotes
I don't care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive. Anonymous
Less is more, unless it's kindness, sleep, or toilet paper. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Happy New Year! Here's to another year of binge eating, Facebook surfing, and Netflix marathons. Anonymous
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Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous. - Anonymous
I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back. - Anonymous
Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Work Quotes
I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is. Anonymous
I haven't tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor.. so I'm sure I wouldn't like Yoga. - Anonymous
I haven't tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor.. so I'm sure I wouldn't like Yoga. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes

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