Latest Funny Quotes

I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes Witty Quotes

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Anonymous

Animals People Quotes Short Quotes

Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say. Anonymous

Never Quotes Statements Time Quotes

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The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run! Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings

If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Wise Quotes

Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? Anonymous

Life Quotes Money Quotes Phone

That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like "I've got nothing man." Anonymous

Man Quotes Moments

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes

Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Statements

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings

Being a beaver is nice, if you're hungry you just eat a piece of your home. Anonymous

Animals Eat Quotes Short Quotes

You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

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