Latest Funny Quotes

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit. Anonymous

Ever looked at your ex and wondered... was I drunk the entire relationship? Anonymous

Love Quotes Questions Short Quotes

Where do I see myself in a year? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision. Anonymous

Short Quotes

How to do sit-ups: Lay down, hands behind your head. Wow, this is a good position for a nap. Maybe I'll just take a nap. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I'll shop. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn't ready. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. Erma Bombeck

Short Quotes Work Quotes

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes

I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's like 7 years in a row now. Anonymous

Target cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for? Me: First of all, I wasn't looking for ANY of this. Anonymous

Less is more, unless it's kindness, sleep, or toilet paper. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I'm dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me. Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you're talking and not hear a single word you said. Anonymous

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won't judge you. Anonymous

Friend Quotes

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