Woody Allen Quote

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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

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Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. - Dave Barry

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Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? Anonymous

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What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' Anonymous

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You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous

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Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...

Naked Gun (Movie)

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How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? - Anonymous

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous

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I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.

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You can't have everything... where would you put it?

You can't have everything... where would you put it? Steven Alexander Wright

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