Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Emo Philips
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right!
My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer.
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection!
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.
A girl called me once and said "come over, nobody is home!" I went there and she was right, nobody was home!
Life is a pretty cheezy game, but at least it has good graphics.
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it!
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.'
Sleeping on my keyboard. If I answer, I'm talking in my sleep.
I know how to live my life to the fullest.. but let's speak later after I finish playing some computer games.
The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window.
