When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.
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When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich.
When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.
Love is like playing bridge, if you don't have a good partner, it's good to at least have a good hand.
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer.
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?
Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse, I might let him inside the house.
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry.
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does.
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