CoolFunnyQuotes.com Quote

When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich.

Violet Matters

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.

Helen Rowland

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.

Anonymous

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

Albert Einstein

Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer.

Anonymous

Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?

Groucho Marx

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

P.D. East

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Rita Rudner

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

Anonymous

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Woody Allen

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

Benjamin Franklin

The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'

Anonymous

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Henny Youngman

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

Joey Adams

Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse, I might let him inside the house.

Anonymous

I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry.

Anonymous

When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does.

Anonymous

My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right!

Anonymous

My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer.

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I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through the entire house.

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