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The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.
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A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.
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A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?'
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You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
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