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From now I'm going on a strict diet.... Oh look, burger and fries!

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I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days. Anonymous
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A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. Anonymous
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The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat. Anonymous
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Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories. Anonymous
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. - Henny Youngman
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman
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A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.
A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back. Anonymous
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A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?' Anonymous
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You can trust your dog to guard your house.
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. Anonymous
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Near year 2013, resolutions you can keep.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
 Anonymous
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I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Anonymous
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I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry. Anonymous
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