Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals.
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. Mark Twain
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself. Anonymous
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following. Anonymous
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. Lily Tomlin
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. Dave Barry
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness. Anonymous