I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again!
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Anonymous
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. Anonymous
Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. Anonymous
Sleeping on my keyboard. If I answer, I'm talking in my sleep. Anonymous
The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep! Anonymous
I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy. Frank Zappa
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! Anonymous
If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!! Anonymous
In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep. Anonymous
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Dave Barry
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson
I have the worlds largest seashell collection. You may have seen it, I keep it spread out on beaches all over the world. Steven Alexander Wright
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. Dave Barry
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.
Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on. Anonymous