I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again!
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver.
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
I have the worlds largest seashell collection. You may have seen it, I keep it spread out on beaches all over the world.
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.
Henry Louis Mencken
Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
The world today doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?
I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.
In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep.
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!
Those who snore always fall asleep first.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
If there's no love in the world,... let's make some.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do.
Don't wake me up! I'm studying.
Sleeping on my keyboard. If I answer, I'm talking in my sleep.
Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.
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