Don't invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
More Quotes by Anonymous
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
A joke is a very serious thing.
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
We have to do the impossible, but it is possible.
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.
When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it.
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!!
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.
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