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Don't invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

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I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

Dave Barry

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You know you are lazy when you get excited about cancelling your plans.

Anonymous

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Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.

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I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.

I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.

Anonymous

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I am too lazy to be lazy.

I am too lazy to be lazy.

Anonymous

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I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.

Anonymous

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Maybe there are no excuses to be lazy, but I'm still going to keep looking.

Anonymous

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I'm not lazy, I'm on power saving mode.

Anonymous

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What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats.

Anonymous

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Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Anonymous

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Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.

Anonymous

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I'm not lazy, I'm waiting for inspiration to hit me... should be here any time now.

Anonymous

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I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape.

Anonymous

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Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday.

Anonymous

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I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Anonymous

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Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

Anonymous

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You know you are lazy when you get excited about cancelling your plans.

Anonymous

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