I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.
More Quotes by Anonymous
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.
A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?'
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right.
I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.
In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep.
"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ?
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!
If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!
Those who snore always fall asleep first.
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