Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm as single as a one dollar bill, and I don't need any change. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find." Anonymous

I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect. Anonymous

Short Quotes

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I burned my Hawaiian pizza today. Should've cooked it on aloha temperature. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday! Anonymous

Happiness is eating an entire pizza in front of a friend who's on a diet. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Happy Quotes Short Quotes

I couldn't work today because I had an eye problem.. I simply couldn't see myself working today. Anonymous

Work Quotes

Auto-correct is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things. Anonymous

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

My brain says "Let's do something exciting today" but my body says "Don't listen to that fool." Anonymous

You come from dust and you'll return to dust, so that's why I never dust. It could be someone I know. Anonymous

A man's home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary. Anonymous

Man Quotes Short Quotes

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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