Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Dog Quotes

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It's dead yarn now though. Anonymous

Life Quotes

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Kids: How come the closet is completely full of toilet paper? Me: We're getting 3 cats, we have to pad all the walls in the house. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning. Anonymous

Phone

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can't fall asleep. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes

True love isn't about what's on the outside, it's about what's on the inside.... the wallet. Anonymous

Love Quotes Money Quotes

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place. Anonymous

Life Quotes

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. Anonymous

Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now we have to sit here until the store closes. Anonymous

Today I told my daughter she's giving me a headache! She told me "For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer." Anonymous

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive. Anonymous

Short Quotes

A new kitten will turn your house upside down and at the same time make everything seem right. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes

When I say "Good night," I'm just sending you off to bed, I'm not going to sleep! Anonymous

Sleep Quotes

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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